Back in the saddle

Well, after far too long I reclaimed my love of porn and decided to start this bitch up again.
I'll begin this new chapter in all our lives with a very tastful (ek!), well shot (ah!), and high quality (hrm) music video featuring my favorite porn starlet ever, Rebeca Linares.

I want to suck...your blood.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I would be scared to let those teeth anywhere near me.

At least you know she has experience sucking.

High on life.

So this is what they mean when they say someone is high on life.

I thought it was just some silly slogan to keep kids out of trouble.
I'm thinking the only place to go from here is high wire clowns.

What's cold and sticky?

The first couple of minutes is reason number 4 why I love summer.
Then it starts to get a little bad-horror-movie creepy.

Let's go back to a classier time, when porno had (musical)scores.

If sex was this awkward back in the day, frankly, I'm surprised any of us are here.

The list of things I find odd in this video is long.
The use of the phrase "can't hardly wait" puts me off, since we all know and love Seth Green. Putting the word "hard" in quotations, is like, so 50 years ago.
Fish skin? Really?
The fact that they pretend they are married, I mean, was that done for the moral censors or for our benefit?
Did I just see her slip a finger in? And more importantly, did he like it?

And just to be honest with myself, at the beginning of the video, I really expected a zombie to walk in on them.

Mommy issues.

This might be the most disturbing video I've come across. I mean it's one thing to watch a woman shove a baseball bat somewhere it has no right to be, and I've seen orgies in every configuration you can imagine. But this takes the cake, er, milk and cookies.

This round goes to the Japanese, kicking our behinds at every turn.

I like them big, blue, and made of rubber.

This girl is pretty much every guys nightmare. She loves big cock, and it doesn't matter how big you are, it's not big enough. In fact, she likes them so big, she had to get some poor factory foreman to special make her a giant, blue, rubber substitute.

I'm starting to think maybe she doesn't like guys at all. I mean, do you know any guys with blue privates? Or rubber for that matter? I bet as a young girl she had a crush on Gumby*.


*The makers of Gumby in no way know about this post, but if they did, I'm 99% sure they would NOT condone the association of their character with the content of this blog.